tuning in and connecting
The past few days have been very challenging in the parent department. In reality, all the three boys have been troopers - shuffled in and out of the car, living out of our suitcases and generally being homeless. And my family has gone over the top to provide lots of activities like swimming time at Aunt Karen's, homemade ice cream and fresh peaches, little trinkets and toys being brought home as special surprises, field trips, movie nights and cousin time. And although this will always be home to ME in many ways. It is not home to my boys, I realize that. And they have made this increasingly clear. Their home has their beds, their toys (rescue heroes to be exact) and several pieces of dress up clothing that didn't make it into the suitcase. Home has the "cool" markers. Home has sweet Scout and Reggie kitty. And home has our Daddy.
Having moved so many times, I know that their less than desireable attitudes are clear communication to me that they are needing a little more attention, a little more of a connection, a little more cuddling, a little more playing and a little more just being there quietly and available for when they want to talk. So yesterday we unplugged and did lots of nothing...a Sabbath if you will. We played with my first cousin Wade's children Ethan and Eryn (hi guys!), who we tried to explain are also the boys' cousins. My guys are still trying to wrap their brains around this whole extended family thing and proceeded to call cousin Wade, Uncle Wade. And luckily he was perfectly OK with that. I guess Uncle Wade works as we also have Uncles and Aunts that aren't even actually related to us in any formal way.
Connecting with the natural world is always a healer for us. After rest time back at my parent's house, we built a tepee in the shade of the vitex trees in the yard. The boys made up a whole storyline about a cowboy (Ian) sleeping in his tepee when he hears an Indian (Zane) outside and shoots the Indian because he thinks the Indian will scalp him. *thanks granddad for explaining the intricacies of scalping to us*. When the cowboy goes to investigate the injured Indian, he finds that the Indian was only hungry because there are no more buffalo and was hoping the cowboy could spare some beans. The doctor (Wyatt) comes to patch up the Indian and the cowboy shares his beans and coffee and the two are fast friends from then on. The End.
Of course I realize that the story is not historically accurate and the real ending to the cowboys and indian stories weren't as neat and tidy as ours. But I love that they are listening to the bedtime stories we have been reading and are using parts of them to create their own little scenes. In the evening, we took a walk down to the pasture to see the cows. We always find treasures when we take a walk. This time the list included more fossils, a pretty thistle in bloom, a shed snake skin, sticks, rolly-pollies, another lizard, a rabbit sighting, a cicada shell and lots and lots of butterflies.
Yesterday, was a good day. Cousin/Uncle Wade and family, thanks for being such great family and such good sharers of your time and your toys. Oma and Granddad, thanks for being so hospitable and making this time so precious and memorable. Boys, we'll be in Virginia in less than a week with the beach opening its arms to welcome us back. Hang in there guys. Dear S, thanks for hanging in WI to wrap up all the loose ends and for being such a great daddy that we miss you like crazy.
We'll probably be doing a lot more of what was described above this weekend. Hope you are able to do the same. Blessings friends!
I completely understand where you're coming from on the home front. My munchkin, although surrounded by loving family, just isn't himself right now and won't be until we get settled into our own home, with daddy and all his things around him. Hang in there!
Posted by: madmommy | June 23, 2007 at 05:10 PM
i said it before...it is so hard to be away from home for any length of time! sounds like you are making the best of it, though! looking forward to this week - hope you are too!
Posted by: erin | June 23, 2007 at 06:57 PM
oh man being away from "home" and familiar things are so hard i know i miss my bed. but i'm sure my kids miss sooo much more.
I love the story they came up with. i was totally cracking up!
Posted by: allena | June 23, 2007 at 07:25 PM
Oh! Hang in there, Eren. As trying as they might find it now, my guess is that this time, and these memories will be treasured by your fellas for years to come.
Posted by: Stefani | June 23, 2007 at 08:06 PM
Sounds like you are making the best of a tough situation. So heartwarming to hear how in touch you are with your children. What a GREAT momma you are!
Posted by: dana | June 24, 2007 at 04:58 AM
I'm enjoying all of your travel posts Eren! As much as your boys want their own beds, they will look back on this time as an awesome adventure.
Posted by: carol | June 24, 2007 at 05:17 AM
Very nice, and I agree that your boys are going to embrace all of it... if not today, definitely down the road. What a blessing to feel their needs and to meet them like you do. Your adventures have been interesting as posts for us, but I will be happy for you when you are home, in Virginia.
BTW Virginia keeps showing up in my life: One book, two bloggers, and tomorrow a dear friend is moving there. So interesting.
Posted by: Natalie | June 24, 2007 at 05:25 AM
Hey Eren -- tell Ian and Zane that Tucker and Hayley Jane are very excited to welcome them home to the Beach :) Email me (katieadams@cox.net) with your new contact info and let's plan a Bay Day to play when you get back. SOooooooo looking forward to reconnecting. Praying for God's wisdom, patience and laughter for you and the boys over the last few days of transition. Hugs - Katie
Posted by: katie adams | June 24, 2007 at 06:30 AM
Good of you to take a break with the boys... what a lovely adventure they had :)
Posted by: Mirre | June 24, 2007 at 06:55 AM
just as i was reading this, griffin asked if daddy can come home today.
::sigh::
being separated is not fun.
Posted by: capello | June 24, 2007 at 08:02 AM
I totally understand how you're all feeling. I cried in bed the first three nights in our current house. It's an infinitely better house, but at the time it just wasn't home.
This too shall pass. So wonderful that you have such a loving support system.
Posted by: Amy | June 24, 2007 at 03:57 PM
Hugs, Eren! What troopers you have!
Posted by: laeroport | June 25, 2007 at 11:05 AM
absolutely loved this post! How I miss being a kiddo!
Posted by: moki | June 25, 2007 at 08:49 PM
This must be hard on your husband too. I'm so glad you all are able to have this time with cousins, grandparents, and friends. It is so hard to be away from home when you're little and moving is even harder. Thinking about you . . . Erin
Posted by: Erin | June 26, 2007 at 05:22 AM
Eren, you are such a good mama. I can't wait to get advice from you one day. Your love for your kids shines through!
Posted by: africankelli | June 27, 2007 at 04:01 PM
I'm sure that they will remember they time in the country as a wonderful adventure, and when your all settled into the house, they'll tell their Daddy all about the adventures they had with excitment - love Julia x
Posted by: weirdbunny | July 02, 2007 at 03:26 AM